I disagree on a couple of points:
Charging: While it is preferred to trickle charge for the good of the battery, fast charging will not generally do damage. What do you think your 20A alternator does when the battery is very low?!
Jump starting: Jump starting off a car or truck is fine. The bike will only draw the amps required. Amps don't get pushed through because there's lots of them. Remember your HD has more cubic inches to turn over than a lot of Jap cars these days. If it was practical to put a bigger battery on a bike they would.
I think you are overlooking in your 20A alternator theory that the alternator output (charging rate) at idle is very low and as speed increases, so does the output. If you compare that to using jumpers and connecting a discharged bike battery to a fully charged car battery of lets say 600 or so CCA which is about the average here, this is where the problem comes from in the form of a shock or surge that can blow electronics on the vehicle with the low battery. The higher amperage or differential between the two batteries and not the voltage is what does the damage.
As far as fast charging a battery, that's about the best way to ruin it. The heat generated from the fast charge buckles the plates causing them to short out and the battery is useless then. While it's true you may get away with a fast charge for a short time if you must, it's a calculated risk that you could damage the battery if done for any more than a very short time. A slow trickle charge is the best way to go as long as you monitor the battery temps here also.