It took myself and my husband 5 month, but I finally have an outcome: my 2002 Twin Cam Ultra and I rode to work this morning!
The first thing we did was send an oil sample to Blackstone Labs. It came back with a perfect, no issues report.
After much research and a few conversations, we opted to replace the original with the S&S Gear Drive Cam Kit. We purchased it from J&P Cycle, who gave us great customer service and a good price.
I went on EBay and found some of the specialty tools we needed to pull and insert the inner bearings. A friend of ours had a dial indicator he loaned to us for checking the run out on the pinon shaft (we checked this before purchasing the kit). He also let us us the small hand cranked press in his garage to press the new bearings into the new cam plate.
We spent a few hours almost every Saturday in our garage, working on each stage. When we got stuck or confused, we paused, read the service manual, watched YouTube video instructions and rechecked our work.
We put in fresh oil and filter, new spark plugs.
After getting the cam kit, new push rods installed, we still had to get the original, stock exhaust back on. This required another parts order and actually was quite a fight to get the headers to seat up into the ports.
Then it was time to fire up the bike, which she did on the second press of the starter. Having not rode the bike for at least 8 months, I was a bit nervous to go for the first test ride! But we headed out for a 10 minute cruise around the neighborhood.
When I returned, the bike was smoking. We wiped everything down, looking for leaks. We were tired and again decided to pause.
The inner, front push rod o ring had not seated, we believe, after returning and checking with fresh eyes and energy.
I took the bike out for another test ride, this time longer and a bit on the freeway. Arriving home, we didn't find any leaks.
This morning was a better test, riding to work.
So, we are hoping for the best, that the cam chain tensioner shoes that chewed up inside the chest didn't cause any damage to the cylinders. I'm going to ride some more miles, do another oil test.
In the meantime, this was great encouragement that I might be able to keep my old bike with me as we both age, hopefully gracefully
Thanks to the community for the encouragement.