Sound advise from previous posters...buy smaller metric to start makes good sense as 883cc is comparable torque and power wise to most middleweight rockets regarding power (though they are 100 pounds lighter). You are on the right path regarding a good used bike...probably 2-5 years old would not be such a high investment, but $10k is quite high priced admission price to enter the world of motorcycling.
Even the so-called smaller Sportsters NEW are $10k...but ABS willl only be found on the Big-Twin Touring Bikes from 2009 on...so probably out of your reach in an HD model anyway.
If HD is a MUST, you really cannot go wrong with one the feels comfortable and easy to ride FOR you and is a very personal choice, it is just a challenge to handle the weight and power if not used to it. Most modern models have rubber mounted, balanced engines, some with isolated bars, with the vibes coming from the intensional and "patented" firing pattern of engine...and should not be a problem