Wife too scared for 2up
- Thread starter cedarbrook63
- Start date
One suggestion you might try is renting a touring bike for the weekend. You will probably have to do this a couple of times riding it just yourself so that YOU are comfortable with the bigger bike. But a RK with a passenger back rest will be more comfortable for your passenger, and may take some of that resistance out of the equation. Also, even though it is bigger and heavier, the RK has a low center of gravity which makes the perceived stability much better than the Sporties.
TQ
TQ
Thank you one and all for some valuable advice.
I am intending to buy a sissy bar and rack and appreciate how that would add to her sense of security. Helmet, gloves, protective gear etc. are all a given. Don't ride without them myself.
I like the point about co-watching the safety and control dvd - I'll have a look around and buy one.
As to buying a bigger bike - if I can get her on the back of the Sporty, I should be then able to win her around to OUR need for that RK I have my beady eye on :s. I would regard that as a fringe benefit.
CB, your understanding of the situation and recommendation from your pals here are of course very good. One thing that stood out was the two things we all have done when teaching a loved one HOW to drive. The key as Dr.D said is Patience and the other having her LEARN about motorcycling by seeing MSF type DVD or actually taking a little bit of TIME with your gal in the neighborhood, riding around a bit to when conditions are ideal...start with some short sorties, maybe little garage sales on weekends (I used the ploy that it has limited storage, so we can do this as "economical" and easy do do incentive).
I used a bit of "psyc 101" to segway into a challenge...she was a soccer mom who could not see anyone riding those dangerous motorcycles, her thinking originally was the vision of motorcylclists = caveman mentally who drink, with a dangerous wild lifestyle bent (she really may have not been far off the mark in my case). :small3d038: After a bit of a discussion I challenged her (she is not one to take a challenge sitting down)...why not take the motorcyclist written test just to see if you could pass...(I let her link it to the appointment she had with re-licensing for driving a car). Yep, she missed and got 60% and since she did not pass, her licensing for the car was "delayed" as well.:small3d007:
Feeling guilty for this little bit of stealth, it did cost me, when I suggested she take the MSF course right away...hey it was my fault after all...:yeahright ya never can turn down an opportunity to learn...and the rest is history.:s Yes, she had a smile from ear to ear when she passed the test...and is now a real "Biker Mom"...it took me almost 3 years for my youngest daughter to actually say "Mom is happier and does seem to drive better..."!
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Some good advice here. I have tried most of them. My wife still won't ride with me. I even went so far as to buy a Goldwing with sidecar.......she rode in it twice around town If she wants to go ride on the EGC that I traded the hack for,she can tell me. I won't be holding my breath :bigsmiley28:
If she wants to go ride on the EGC that I traded the hack for,she can tell me. I won't be holding my breath :bigsmiley28:
Thank you one and all for some valuable advice.
I am intending to buy a sissy bar and rack and appreciate how that would add to her sense of security. Helmet, gloves, protective gear etc. are all a given. Don't ride without them myself.
I like the point about co-watching the safety and control dvd - I'll have a look around and buy one.
As to buying a bigger bike - if I can get her on the back of the Sporty, I should be then able to win her around to OUR need for that RK I have my beady eye on :s. I would regard that as a fringe benefit
The sissy bar is a great idea and i have them on all my bikes as a safety factor as the little girl next door used to want to go out on the bikes
however the rack may give you problems as they dont allow enough clearence to fit a full sized uk number plate and its getting harder to get plates made that are a suitable size to fit under the rack but if you manage to get one youll have to remove rack and fit full sized plate to get through mot things have tightend a lot in the last 12 months
As to trying to influence a woman to do what she doesnt want to do is almost impossible she has to want to go on the bike or she wont go
so only tell her about the great parts of your trips
when cleaning and polishing do it outside in the sun make it look like your really enjoying yourself and ask for her opinion on how it looks and what acessories to get
so get the good woman involved in any way she can
Brian
larryjmiller
Junior Member
Well, I hope all of your suggestions work. I've had the RK for over a year now and she still does not like it although she has grown to accept the fact that I "need" to ride on the weekends. She even went to a recent HOG event at a neighbor's house. Of course all of the people I have met at the local HOG Chapter are really nice and supportive. Not a bunch of crazed maniac bikers, haahahhahaha. We also ran into one of the guys and his wife at the mall yesterday. Seems like she's warming to the idea but I'll be taking it real slow. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that she will eventually ride with me. There's so many cool places to ride. Not the same in a car!
Randall K. Wilson
Junior Member
Not really in your situation...but I have been riding seriously again since 1996 riding a total of over 80k miles...mostly on touring frame machines.
Now my Wife of 37 years now, is glad I'm enjoying my riding. She will ride 3 or 4 times with me each season, and that is because we take a tent and go camping for a few days with the cycle. Oddly it was her idea that we do that. But other than that she really never suggest going with me on the cycle. Obviously she knows she is always welcome, but if she want to fine and if not fine. Frankly I think half of it is that she hates wearing the helmet, which I highly encourage although we have no mandatory helmet law that she would have to.
In a modest way my little hen takes much pride in her appearance...starting with her hair. Really having even a hat or a do-rag on her head "bugs" her. "Do I have to wear a helmet?" (I hear this at times)
Sometimes I wonder if she really even likes riding period, but wants me to think that she likes to ride.
One thing about it is when she does come along we take the Roadking, I have the Mustang nostalgic touring seat, HD King tourpack with Built in HD backrest, also I took the rear crashbars off and repaced them with the HD crashbars that the top of them slant down so that the back of her legs don't touch them. And lastly I put the foot board risers on which brings up her feet 2 1/2 inches (she is only 5foot 2inches). I can't think of any else to make it any more compfy and safe.
In closing as others have said...you gotta get a back rest on your sporty. I heard of a rider in TN whose wife fell off the back of his cycle and a bus ran over her...you know the rest....it CAN happen.
Now my Wife of 37 years now, is glad I'm enjoying my riding. She will ride 3 or 4 times with me each season, and that is because we take a tent and go camping for a few days with the cycle. Oddly it was her idea that we do that. But other than that she really never suggest going with me on the cycle. Obviously she knows she is always welcome, but if she want to fine and if not fine. Frankly I think half of it is that she hates wearing the helmet, which I highly encourage although we have no mandatory helmet law that she would have to.
In a modest way my little hen takes much pride in her appearance...starting with her hair. Really having even a hat or a do-rag on her head "bugs" her. "Do I have to wear a helmet?" (I hear this at times)
Sometimes I wonder if she really even likes riding period, but wants me to think that she likes to ride.
One thing about it is when she does come along we take the Roadking, I have the Mustang nostalgic touring seat, HD King tourpack with Built in HD backrest, also I took the rear crashbars off and repaced them with the HD crashbars that the top of them slant down so that the back of her legs don't touch them. And lastly I put the foot board risers on which brings up her feet 2 1/2 inches (she is only 5foot 2inches). I can't think of any else to make it any more compfy and safe.
In closing as others have said...you gotta get a back rest on your sporty. I heard of a rider in TN whose wife fell off the back of his cycle and a bus ran over her...you know the rest....it CAN happen.
cedarbrook63
Junior Member
You know you really are a top bunch of guys and though I've met only one of you and know only a handful of "real" names, you're like a cyber-family or cyber-neighbourhood to me. I'm not being mushy here - I think motorcycles bring out a sence of brotherhood or tribal belonging to those of us who love the 2-wheel beauties.
Hobbit - as I said on the phone, thank you very much for the offer - and I'll see about taking you up on it if I don't charm her or persuade her myself. If we've had a row ( a rarity ), I can tip you off and you can bring the Bob instead :lol. Only kidding really - we don't row. As I tell her jokingly, I've learned the 3 words that ensure a happy life with a woman: "Yeah, you're right"
Brian - you know what makes women tick I think. She's gotta want to do it. I think she will - she has said that she'll come out with me in the Spring and that's fair enough - she feels the cold when I don't. That gives me time to sort out a sissy bar. I have a small lay back plate and thanks for the tip of checking that out about fitting with the luggage rack which I also hope to add. I've decided I prefer the look of the Sporty without bags so the rack gives me a luggage carrying option.
To all of you my online brothers - thanks for the help and advice. Who knows, maybe one day she'll ride my Sporty once I have my King.:s
Hobbit - as I said on the phone, thank you very much for the offer - and I'll see about taking you up on it if I don't charm her or persuade her myself. If we've had a row ( a rarity ), I can tip you off and you can bring the Bob instead :lol. Only kidding really - we don't row. As I tell her jokingly, I've learned the 3 words that ensure a happy life with a woman: "Yeah, you're right"
Brian - you know what makes women tick I think. She's gotta want to do it. I think she will - she has said that she'll come out with me in the Spring and that's fair enough - she feels the cold when I don't
. That gives me time to sort out a sissy bar. I have a small lay back plate and thanks for the tip of checking that out about fitting with the luggage rack which I also hope to add. I've decided I prefer the look of the Sporty without bags so the rack gives me a luggage carrying option.To all of you my online brothers - thanks for the help and advice. Who knows, maybe one day she'll ride my Sporty once I have my King.:s
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Randall K. Wilson
Junior Member
A wise ole mentor to me who has been riding Harleys for over 50 years and had many touring machines, advised me of this...(in his gentleman southern drawl)..."now Randy, if yer wife ain't comfortable, ya ain't gonna have uh good time...."