I feel for ya buddy. I started smoking when I was about 18, quit when I was 43. Saved all my cig $$ (I smoked 1/2 pkg/day and put the price of a pack in a jar every 2nd day) and put a downpayment on a new '94 FXSTC. Then went to Cuba 6 years later, bought a box of Havanas and started smoking again. I quit again last July and haven't looked back. There are days I don't even think of it, and other days I'm dyin' for just a puff.
The first time I quit, it was mandated at work that no one could smoke in the workplace. Then no one could smoke in a company vehicle. I got the cessation package from HR and modified it to my own tastes. Cut down by delaying my next smoke for 10 minutes, then 30 minutes, and pretty soon by 1 hour. This took me about a month. Then I quit the morning cigarette and never had one until morning coffee. Then none til lunch, then next one at afternoon coffee. Then I quit drinking coffee and gorged myself on orange juice. Pretty soon I was down to 1 cigarette a day for about a week. I carried one cigarette in my pocket for a month and one night, on an ambulance call, the nurse asked me for a smoke. I gave her my last cigarette and never had one for 6 years.
This time, I had been thinking for a few years that I should quit again, but we had my Dad living with us for the past 10 years and he smoked very heavily, so whenever I tried to quit, I was drawn back into smoking. He passed away June 15th of this year and on july 1st, I decided that I would try again. I never did anything specific this time, just tried the patch, which never worked, only made me want one more. So I just quit cold turkey.
After my Dad passed, we went to Ontario for the summer and when we came home, we realized how much the whole house stank/stunk. So we washed and painted rooms and washed just about everything in the house. Now it's much better....no stink.:bigsmiley8:x As some others have said, it's mostly in your mind. And when you do quit, start exercising. After you have quit for even a few weeks, you'll be amazed at how much more energy you have and how much better you feel. You can smell things again, taste things again, you have no more morning hang-overs, and your temperment improves dramatically. You can walk to the store and home again, uphill BOTH ways and not get winded. I find I'm getting more things/chores done around the house and I'm not dropping things to run outside for a smoke, so I get more done.
Feel free to ask for help when you need it.